Memories...

I am surprised at myself! I still haven’t blogged about my memories, my college days, and all that nostalgia! While I was going through the journey, I looked back, and reminisced those moments, and controlled so that I can save all up for this, for the final one! The best one! Even in the post dated march 3rd, I’d mentioned I’ll talk all about the nostalgia after I’m done with my exams.

It’s been more than a month since my exams, and I still haven’t blogged about it. Rather, the truth is I don’t feel like it. I don’t like to think of it, and surely it isn’t just my laziness, it’s something more. Something like a fear of nostalgia! I’m not sure if such a thing exists, but I feel it.

I don’t feel like treading over the memories, I even thought of reading through some pages of my diary, but I avoided doing that. I fear the tears it would bring in my eyes. I fear the pain I’ll feel when I’ll think of those memories. I know relating those memories to pain is really disrespecting the situation. But, I’ll feel the pain, not because I had a great time then, but because, I am not having, or possibly may not have such a great time again in my life.

This is wrong! It’s like not having faith, not believing that if life has been good once, it can’t be better again. But, what if life has been best! Can something be better than the best? I don’t know!

Maybe, I was just habituated with Ruia-life, constantly surrounded by my loved ones, my dear friends. If not surrounded by them, then surrounded the atmosphere that made Ruia so special, so different! Suddenly not having that around me, makes me little uneasy, maybe! But, I need to get used it, I need to learn, it’s in my heart, it’s with me, even when not surrounding me.

In the beginning, it was very difficult to make myself understand, the three years have come to and end. That, such a time may never come in my life again. But I’ve somehow convinced myself, and as of now I want to stay away from the memories, till I become strong, strong enough to make more memories. Till the time, let them ferment. Then again, some day I’ll open this barrel, and drink in the sweet memories and enjoy every sip of it!